Cornwall vs Waitakere - One Day Final - Waitakere National Stadium (Te Atatu Sth)
Cornwall had the pleasure of traveling out to the recently completed Waitakere National Stadium in the affluent suburb of Te Atatu Sth to battle it out with the elegant Waitakere Poohas for the one day championship. Fielding, possibly, it's strongest and most well-balanced team of the season, Cornwall lost the toss and were asked to field on a cold and windy morning on a deck that appeared it would offer little assistance to the bowlers. There seemed to be a real buzz about the team as they took the field and this was translated into a superb opening over from strike bowler and 80s sensation, Huey Lewis. A quality display of opening bowling from Hewitt and Lal was backed up by a brilliant display in the field, as all the Cornwall fielders showed the determination and hunger of a champion side. Led by Steven Hook and Devon Malcom in the off-side, a number of brilliant stops were effected and this contributed significantly to the stagnant Waitakere run-rate and allowed the bowlers to settle into their groove immediately. After 12 overs, Waitakere were languishing at 25/2, however, there was no respite for the batsman as Tom Boyle and Mark Bowen came on and immediately hit their straps. Both bowlers showed great control and consistency as they combined to strangle the life out of the Waitakere top-order. The captaincy of Bowen, in particular, was a highlight of the day as he marshaled his troops superbly and managed his bowlers perfectly. Tim Wilson, or Freddy Kruger/Nelly, turned in a great effort behind the stumps, including a well worked (sharked) stumping of Irish Jake. The introduction of off-spinner Cameron Bray proved a masterstroke as the super jock ran through the Waitakere middle order (including the prize scalp of former Lancashire and England all-rounder Matt Cornes) with a fine display of one day spin bowling. He was well backed up by a tight spell at the other end from Sam Bowl and two brilliant catches off his bowling by Steven Hook and Devon Malcom, respectively. By the time that their innings was concluded, Waitakere had been restricted to 152/9 off their 50 overs as Cornwall turned in their most complete bowling and fielding effort of the season. By the end of the innings, the Panasonic Stand had all but emptied and the terraces and embankment, who had been raucous earlier in the innings ("Boo!"), were reduced to silence.
After the luncheon break, Cornwall began their run chase with characteristic positivity, Mark Bowen leading from the front with a series of crunching off-side strokes. His departure for a brisk 25 brought young buck Hugo McChesney to the crease and it was this crucial partnership between him and Cameron Bray that took the ascendancy away from the Waitakere Poohas. While McChesney only scored 29, it was the nature of his innings that suggested this was to be Cornwall's day as he drove and cut with authority and was well supported by Cameron Bray who continued to turn the strike over and strike boundaries of his own. McChesney's bizarre dismissal for 29 brought another young buck, Sam Anderson-Bowl, to the crease, however, it was not to be his day as he was dismissed by a grenade and quickly followed by up-and-comer Devon Michaels ('Up And Comers 29') first ball. Fortunately, Biggie B was on hand to partner Cam Bray to the finish line, stroking a brisk 7* to compliment Bray's superbly crafted 64*. Bray was duly named man of the match by Steve Crow (M.D. Crowe was unavailable) for his all-round effort of 3-31 and 64*, the presentations being made in front of the corporate boxes/tent. A sated Cornwall outfit headed back to HQ where they learned of a victory for their seniors and were pleased to see Avinash Sharma in fine form.
Determined not to let this fine victory go uncelebrated, the Cornwall Sharks commandeered two tables close to the 'action' and proceeded to consume copious amounts of beer, wine, vodka, champagne and sleeping pills. Many a chant was heard reverberating around the ground as the Sharks let loose with some of their wittiest commentary of the year ("Buffet's a legend!"). Right in the thick of it all was man mountain Hugo McChesney who, at one point, was observed attempting to replicate Shanth Sreesanth's world championship winning breakdance while drinking from a champagne bottle. The young man truly was a picture of class and dignity, such is his upbringing at Grammar. However, this was all to change as he was scurrilously brought down by a rogue wine spritzer after doing his best to charm all two females in the establishment. Spending the next hour and a half lying naked and prone on the ground outside Cornwall, the rest of the Sharks took the precaution of heading to his Bassett Road Barracks and rocking the party. Someone should have told them that his rubenesque sister had just got home from Globe and was hosting a meeting of the Auckland University AV club. There was almost some conflict as her raucous friend's got up in a fairly animated Huey Lewis' grille. Managing to walk this man mountain from the Hawkmobile to his bed (uphill, I might add, that was ridiculous... "think tall" you young buck!), the Sharks continued in merry fashion, despite one G. Inzy Bear being under suspicion of drag racing in the club's carpark (observed by the Big Three of Ian Dee, Rexmund Foxcod Smith and Adrian Dale). Rocking the party in his Emilio Valentinos, Steven Hook Monster did his best to smooth the situation over by providing a running commentary of The Prestige for Coco and Gadge, both of whom were well gone. By the time the clock struck midnight, the Sharks were a rabble. Usual party animal Coco Chipolata Cougar had retreated to his bedroom (Hugo's spare room) and was lying spread eagled, nude and feeling very seedy. Cam Bray was hitting on Steven Hook and Dan Fraser in the spa and Irish Jake had pushed on to town. Matt Davies was involved in a high-speed car chase with police, Devon Michaels was juggling a cheeseburger and Huey Lewis had called time. The next morning, Hugo's sister had absconded to Australia, Coco and Lobby (one of whom was fully nude, guess who) had shared the spare bed and Cam Bray had taken the unusual step of bedding down in Hugo's spew-filled bed (Hugo was also nude). Smashing a coffee plunger for good measure, Hugo decided to rock Auckland Grammar after dropping of a confused Cam Bray ("this dog's breath stinks"). This ambitious effort lasted all of 45 minutes as he returned home in terrible shape. Luckily for him, two Grammar seniors stepped up to the (hot) plate and looked after this young buck all day long. He was lucky to have the services of two fine cooks who performed their duty admirably and ensured that they all ate like lords. Bacon and eggs for breakfast, chicken and avocado sandwiches for lunch and hamburgers and sausages for dinner... what great guys (and what great ingredients)! All in all, a successful one day championship was brought to a close with style, grace and panache (brought to the party by Avinash) and a team who really bonded during the season enjoyed the opportunity to celebrate their successes together. One can only hope that the nucleus of this side manages to return next season and build upon the friendships and exciting cricket formed during the season (shedding a tear as I write this). Basically, Cam never leave us. We love you (especially Steven and I).
Waitakere 152/9 (Cam Bray 3-31, Todd Hewitt 2-19, Tom Boyle 2-32, Chris Lal 1-13, Sam Anderson 1-32) were destroyed by Cornwall 154/4 off 38 overs (that guy again, Cam Bray 64*, Mark Bowen 25, Hugo McChesney 29, Tom Burton 7*) by six wickets, with 12 overs to spare.
Cornwall vs Uni/Ellerslie - Round 2 Champinoship Round
Cornwall elected to bat first on a fairly tired looking pitch at their beautiful home ground, located in the always serene Cornwall Park. It was a much anticipated return to home for the Sharks after a horrible away fixture at The Birdcage against the Grafton Ropatis. Despite the best efforts of the opposition fieldsmen to gift Cornwall's top order second, third, fourth and sometimes fifth chances, Corwnall were in early difficulty at 57/3, after losing their captain, their tallest batsman and Inzamam early. Cornwall were able to rebuild through a gritty partnership between Dan Fraser and the impressive debutante Devon Michaels, who showed real character. With Fraser again departing just before a break in play, and Hook joining him back in the pavilion shortly afterwards, Cornwall were again in real danger of being bowled out under 200. When Devon fell for an impressive 81, the score was a meagre 150/6 and things were looking grim. However, a gritty stand between Mitch and Coco led a determined lower order performance. They both showed good temparements, particularly during the tea adjournment. The real highlight of this innings, though, was the effort of tailenders Huey Lewis and Tom Evans. Striding to the crease in nothing but his wide brim hat (he forgot his whites), Hewitt, in partnership with Evans, frustrated the opposition bowlers who took the new ball, but were unable to dislodge this unlikely pair. Eventually, when Huey was dismissed, the two had taken Cornwall from 205 to 232, a more respectable score, and left the Uni/Ellerslie openers a tricky period of 7 overs to face out before the close.
Despite a few 'floaters' early on, the Cornwall opening bowlers, Hewitt and Lal, managed to capture a wicket each to leave the game poised with Uni/Ellerslie being 28/2 at the close. The prize wicket of McJocklin was taken in identical fashion to the one-day quarter as Tom Burton took a fine slips catch. Clearly Fidi was brought out to rock the party.
On Day Two, Cornwall were on the attack early and were confident they could continue to take wickets with the visitors at 28/2. A first over lbw shout from Mark Bowen was somehow turned down by one of the most biased player umpires you would ever meet. After the batsman shouldered arms to a straight delivery, the Hawk let out an almighty squak, only for the umpire to announce that it had pitched outside off-stump. An obvious lie. To add to the misfortune, the umpire just happened to be the brother of the batsman, confirming the level of cheating Uni/Ellerslie had stooped too. An appeal not long after by Hewitt for an lbw on Uni's captain Brody (not Adrian), was also denied. The yorker hit the batsman on the full in-front of middle stump and was turned down by the umpire with the explanation being two sounds. The captained confirmed an over later that he got no where near the ball. Brody went on to score a well crafted 92 and lead his team to first innings point. Uni Ellerslie continued to drink on the sideline and in general disgrace themselves. Cornwall battled hard on a good wicket all day but just couldn't grab the crucial wickets. The quality of the pitch was supported when Cornwall batted again and captain Hawk scored a majestic 60 ball hundred in just 21 overs to restore a little bit of pride for the Sharks.
Cornwall 232 (Devon Michaels 81, Chris Lal 27, Dan Fraser 25, Todd Hewitt superb 20) and 181/1 (M Bowen 101*) are playing Uni/Ellerslie 350-7 decl (Lal 1-8, Hewitt 1-18).
Cornwall Vs Grafton - Victoria Park - One-day Semi-final (6/2/08)
Te Tiriti ō Waitangi was signed between northern Maori tribes and the British Crown on 6 February, 1840. This document represents the foundation of New Zealand as a nation, despite later attempts to have the treaty declared a nullity due to the questionable civic authority of the aforementioned Maori chiefs to confer sovereignty to the Crown (though exactly what was being conferred would later become the major point of contention between the two groups). Despite the difficulties that have arisen as a result of Treaty disputes, 6 February, Waitangi Day, continues to be commemorated by both Maori, Pakeha and Thai New Zealanders and 6 February 2008was no different. Indeed, the non-appearance of Helen Clark at the formal Waitangi celebrations this year caused some (undue) castigation from some sections of the media. In particular, The New Zealand Herald, which may as well declare itself as the private newspaper of the National Party, was especially critical. These hacks will continue unabated and it is a shame that there are no provisions in the Electoral Finance Bill to root out these incompetent buffoons.
Unfortunately, the Cornwall Sharks were forced to play their Waitangi Day semi-final at what can only be described as an abomination of a cricket ground - Vic Park. This stain on the Auckland Cricket map lived up to it's reputation, providing a pitch with a pudding-like texture when every other pitch in Auckland has the hardened crust of a freshly baked apple and rhubarb pie. Winning the toss and electing to bat, Cornwallwere immediately troubled by the accurate Grafton seam attack (50 wides) and the impressive Dick Boneface behind the stumps. This brilliant keeper did his best to combat the swinging ball by standing at least 35 metres back to Prem Reserve's slowest bowling attack. Thankfully, his atrocious keeping was at least compensated by the witty repartee in which he engaged. What a guy (Shhhh!). However, this 'mate' of Ash Turner's was not the only highlight in the Grafton ranks. There was also a disgrace to the game of cricket who thought that wearing a headband and glasses while bowling was funny. This jerk clearly belongs at Grafton. In any case, Cornwallmanaged to battle their way through to 239 thanks, in large, to a composed half-century from young buck Sam Anderson-Bowl (Reichsfuhrer-SS). Useful innings from Biggie B and debutant Mitch 'Niv' Johnson and some lusty blows from Chopper Wilson also helped the cause.
In reply, Grafton sent out Sammy Sosa to battle with Huey Lewis. Witnesses were treated to a fine display of high knees as the captain of life ensured that no home runs would be scored by shattering Sammy's leg stump. However, inaccuracy from the opening bowlers, particularly Coco Lal (who was the worst offender, again!), as well as a buccaneering approach from the Grafton top-order meant that Cornwallwere under some pressure when Lal finished his opening spell. Despite proving more expensive than usual, Tom Boyle managed to hold his nerve and picked up two crucial wickets in a short spell. At 80/3 after 12 overs, Cornwallneeded to slow things down and a good bowling partnership between Chris Lal and Sam Anderson allowed Cornwallto fight back. While Lal was able to exert pressure from one end, it was Anderson who managed to rip the heart out of the Grafton batting line-up with a superb display of accurate and incisive seam bowling. He was, simply put, too hot to handle on a tricky pitch and ended up with 5 wickets. A special moment was observed when Cocodismissed the Hoff's mate, Mike, for a third ball duck, proving who rules the roost once and for all. A feature of the effort in the field was the excellent slips catches held by Steven Hook, who is developing into a fine slip fielder.
After the match, the Cornwall Sharks headed to Junior's house and rocked the party there with the help of a few enthusiastic Prem players (Raj Sharma). It was a pleasure and a delight to have Avi amongst our ranks for the evening, such is the pleasant and interesting nature of his discourse. He truly is a great all-round guy. Sam Bowl followed up his stunning day on the park with a determined effort at SingStar, though Raj Sharma's crooning would stand out as a highlight. Despite the best efforts of India's Frank Sinatra, the Shark's own pop sensation, Golden Bear Matt Davies, managed to humiliate Indian Frank by declaring ahead in the night's deciding contest and ensuring the Sharks pushed on to Auckland's two finest establishments - The Birdcage and Globe - in the best of spirits. The sight of a lobster on the d-floor at The Birdcage, only meters away from Tea's lair, confirmed it was truly a day for Cornwallto savour. In a curious end to the evening, fair-headed young buck Sam Bowl was seen in the company of two "well-tanned" females in a taxi on the way to his abode. Curious, indeed.
It is onto the final now for Hawk and his bunch of merry men as they head of to another one of Aucklandcricket's gem's - Te Atatu Park. On that note, I'm out.
Cornwall239 (Sam Anderson 58, Tom Burton 30, Niv Johnson 21, Boneface 60 byes) defeated Grafton Ropatis 121 (Anderson 5-30, Todd Hewitt 2-18, Tom Boyle 2-34) by 90 runs.
Cornwall vs Suburbs - Cornwall Park - Round 1 of 2 Day Major Championship
After being top qualifyer in their group, Cornwall faced Suburbs in the first round of the Championship round. Showing a determination to avenge their loss to Suburbs in the one day quarter-final a week earlier, the Cornwall bowling attack got stuck into their work on a hot day. As usual, Todd Hewitt (4-65) knocked over the openers before Chris Lal (fresh from rocking the party), Tom Burton, Tom Boyle and Super Jock Cam Bray ran through the middle order, not before a King Crow Jock took them for 59 runs off 42 balls. No.2 Jock Todd Hewitt returned to get boomed for the biggest six of the season, before knocking over the tail. In reply, Cornwall showed the necessary determination required in the Championship round to grind their way to 71-2 and a good position by the close. As usual, Super Golden Jock Cameron Bray led the way with a composed innings of 37* and will be looking to push on next week with Golden Bear Matt Davies who is also unbeaten at the crease.
On the second day of this gripping encounter, Cornwall managed to secure a first innings result thanks to a sublime century from the in-form and always attractive Cameron Bray and a determined effort from the Cornwall middle order. Bray, hot off a sensational effort in the field on Day 1, raced away to a superb century, eventually falling for 113. He received resolute support from Daniel Fraser, who appeared anything but casual in a gritty innings of 32, some lobster-looking guy who made a controlled 30 not out amidst a crumbling lower order and the consistent Tom Burton who was again amongst the runs. Unfortunately, the Cornwall lower order, which has provided useful runs throughout the season, folded meekly as Cornwall collapsed from 228/5 to be 246 all out.
In what has been called one of the most shocking lbw decisions in the history of club cricket, Dan Fraser gave Chris Lal out second ball off a ball that clipped the inside edge before striking him above the waist (witnesses claim it was halfway between the thigh and the armpit) and running down to the boundary. Witnesses are convinced that the senior player was at least four meters down the track when he was scurrilously brought down by the trigger-happy Fraser. Had Fraser not acted so carelessly (casually?), witnesses claim that Lal was on his way to at least 12 runs, such is his form of late. Only a late flurry from Tom Boyle (5) secured any runs for the Cornwall lower order, with ducks to Chopper Wilson, The Predator Steven Beech and, as aforementioned earlier, by myself, Coco Lal. All three were brought down by the finger of Dan Fraser who claimed five victims in a four over umpiring burst. An unidentified Suburbs New Lynn player (Ben Hay) was observed exchanging a brown envelope with Fraser after the game. Officials claim that no investigation is taking place, however, the arrival of Mike Procter late Sunday evening on a chartered Aerolinius Argentinius flight has raised suspicions of a censure for the Cornwall junior. Other cricketing Seniors around the world, such as Sourav Ganguly, Rahul Dravid and Sachin Tendulkar (Avinash) were quoted as saying they were appalled by the behaviour of Fraser and were quick to jump to the defense of the Cornwall Seniors, who had earlier been criticised in the Greenlane Tribune by staff reporter Wayne Hoffer for their lack of sledging over the previous few weeks.
A weary Cornwall outfit were outplayed by a hungrier (though we were very, very hungry later on in the evening) SNL side in the battle for bonus points late in the day. It was a poor effort from Cornwall, who dropped their standards in the field and with the ball, save for a good spell from Tom Boyle and by my calculations came up several wickets short of matching Suburbs for bonus points. Highlights in this innings include an injury-free spell from Tom Burton, several excellent catches and an aftermatch fines session that left all in sundry dazed and confused. Despite securing a first-innings win, the Sharks have come away from this match with an understanding that they will need to fight harder if they wish to contend for the Two Day Championship. Hawk will ensure that the side is well led, but it is for each individual player to take ownership and play to the best of their ability in the Championship round.
Suburbs New Lynn 228 (T Hewitt 4-65, C Lal 3-39) and 210-6 (most people got boomed, Irish snared a couple and Big Bird bowled well) lost to Cornwall 246 (Super Jock Bray 113, Dan Fraser 32, Steven Hook Monster 30*) on the first innings.